that's life
mmm.. there are bound to be a some people who appear in your life that are plain insensitive and ignorant.. yep. i've tried many times to not let the things these people say/do affect me.. however, it aint that easy.. i consider myself rather patient.. i would try my very best to not throw my temper in front of people.. so, as far as possible.. whatever these people say/do.. i'd just let it pass.. in a way suppress it.. then again, everyone has a certain limit to how much they can take.. and these people.. being totally insensitive.. they just go on and on.. saying and doing things that totally gets to you.. not knowing that you've already had enough.. ugh. even though i've alrdy reached my max.. i still continued supressing it.. since it was suppose to be a nice n friendly outing.. i didnt wanna blow my top and ruin the mood.. some others could alrdy tell that something was wrong.. but these people.. ha. they don't even have a clue.. yep.. and they went on at it throughout the nite..

before i went to bed that nite.. i just felt so much hurt and anger within me.. so when i came before God.. i just wept before Him.. letting it all out.. mmm.. words can be such a powerful weapon.. it can totally make you feel like you're on top of the world.. or it can simply make you feel utterly worthless.. ha. i guess i did feel very low about myself that night.. its really hard to not let words affect oneself.. mmm.. i kept crying out to God.. telling Him about my hurts.. asking Him, what have i done to deserve to be treated this way.. and its inevitable to not be angry towards those people who have hurt u.. but i really didnt want to.. because afterall, we're friends.. so i began to ask God to give me a bigger heart.. help me to forgive and forget.. let there not be any grudge held within my heart.. then slowly.. i began to feel better.. a load off my chest.. and i could sense God reminding me of His unfailing love.. a love so strong and deep that was demonstrated on the cross.. for me..

it then occured to me.. all that matters, is His love for me.. i need not seek approval from men.. so what if they constantly put me down with words.. it doesnt matter anymore..

1 Cor. 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

since God is love.. the above scripture would then be..

God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.

indeed, God never fails.. therefore, He's the only one that i can solely depend and trust.. and since i've got Him in my life.. why bother about what others tink and say? ;))

.Your love falls down over me.

i see the futurein your eyes